Because raw chicken is disgusting
There was a lot that went into that meal. For starters, my son blended the sauce for the pasta—a yummy concoction of dill, ricotta, garlic, and cayenne. I took charge of marinating the chicken in dijon, brown sugar, and a lot of other goodness.
Which is why I winced at my preteen daughter’s proclamation: “Mom, I just got a bite of chicken that was totally raw.”
I could have sworn every piece I diced was perfectly moist—not pink, not rivaling shoe leather. But one piece is all it takes.
Timing, in cooking and in life, is everything.
In the Bible, Esther is a beautiful example of someone who leveraged timing and wisdom not to manipulate her husband, but to advocate for what she knew was right and good.
When I first married, I knew that talking with my husband about something serious during a soccer game was not likely to get me the interaction (or answer) I wanted. But as he and I have learned from each other, we’ve added to our stash of knowledge in this department to make sure the “dish” of our communication is delectable rather than dangerous.
Even better? Learning each other’s cues causes us to take that beat to empathize, to put ourselves in each other’s shoes. Considering the timing for when we choose to communicate isn't about walking on eggshells. It just helps us love better.
In my marriage, this means we avoid serious arguments after 9 p.m., when we both acknowledge my emotions resemble mashed potatoes (or at least a hot mess).
I know that when my introverted husband comes home at the end of the day, he may have hit that invisible “word limit” of his.
He knows that when he questions how I’m disciplining the kids, he can place a hand on my back, and I’ll know to take a mental step back. I know that when I disagree with his discipline, it’s always better if we discuss it alone rather than in front of the kids.
I avoid calling my husband during the workday with a conflict. He steers clear of criticism when I’m feeling vulnerable.
I know that in that one week of the month when I’m more hormonal, I should see if I can wait to talk about that angry issue that suddenly feels like more than I can handle.
Like cooking, communication is an art form leaning heavily on precise timing. Like chicken, it’s got the power both to sicken and to holistically nourish.
Check out “5 Communication Tools that Saved My Marriage.”
THE GOOD STUFF: A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver. (Proverbs 25:11)
ACTION POINTS: What knowledge have you accumulated about optimal timing—and poor timing—in communicating with your spouse? Become a student of how and when your spouse responds.
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